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Let Go of Limiting Beliefs

February 28, 2014

Let Go of Limiting Beliefs

How do your friendship circles communicate with you? When asking the opinions of others — and most often when not — do you find yourself annoyed by the feedback others offer that generally limits the dreams and aspirations you have set for yourself? If you answered yes, you are not alone.

Society, unknowingly (which is unfortunate) are most commonly known as “naysayers.” Most people have limiting beliefs on what’s possible, simply based on their personal experiences. The fortunate truth of this matter is this; every person’s experience is only true to that person in the moment s/he experienced it. Many factors contribute to whether or not a tangible outcome or conceptual idea is possible.

When you have people in your communication circle who are comfortable with you, often times they will offer you unsolicited advice that is often dressed in negative connotations and the assumed “that’s not possible.” We each have to remember that facts are not the same as truth. That is to say just because an idea or situation didn’t work out for a comrade of yours does not mean that same thought or idea will not work out for you. Learn to trust yourself and go with your inner wisdom.

I’ve personally learned two practices regarding limiting beliefs from people whose opinions I trust:

1. Trust, but always verify. There is nothing wrong with looking deeper into a situation to verify the facts that have been presented to you. In fact, I’d call this wise spiritual practice.

2. Never tell anyone (not even yourself) that something is not possible. The truth of the matter is all things are possible — given the right tools, timing, and positioning. So share your experiences with others, minus your judgment of hypothesized outcomes.

The attitude to shield you in such a conversation is compassion. Know that most people who answer negatively have some pain associated with their personal failed event (because failure cannot be a person, it is only an event). Most likely this trusted friend of yours does not mean to be negative or limiting, he is simply stating the facts of his experience as universal truth – which is not in fact so.

Also, most of us are opinionated, and while entitled to our opinion, often forget to guard our tongues, thus speaking from emotion and allowing the entrance of negative beliefs from others.

My suggested resolve (along with the practices aforementioned) are to accept each other’s experiences as possible outcomes and feedback, still moving forward with your desires, having already weighed the consequences of all possible outcomes. Engage in conscious speech, weighing your words and how they will affect the person receiving your communication.

We all deserve to live. Unless you take risks and step outside of your normal comfort, you will never truly experience life. In the words of Henry Rand Thoreau, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

I support you in releasing your fears and standing up for your dreams. At the end of the day, only you can live your life. So take heed to advice, but be willing to walk on your own. That is all 

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What beliefs are holding you captive? Will you let them go in order to free your possibilities? What do you now believe is possible for your life? Share your stories with me. I’d love to learn from you, too. 

 

In Love, 

 

Turqueya V – #Strive4Epitome

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It’s Seed Time! How do You Prepare for Tomorrow?

October 8, 2013

Autumn is here and I’m feeling all sorts of positive energy rushes: gratitude, forgiveness, humor, confidence, and more!

Fall is my favorite time of year. I think because for me, it’s a time of reflection and planning. Cleaning and restoring. And I don’t just mean tangible things; I mean emotions, people, organizations, clothes, et al. You see, about three years ago I started a personal tradition of “gratitude letters” where I write to persons, organizations, God and self what I’m grateful for, in order that I may attract more positives into my life. 

Once I’ve given thanks for past blessings, I feel better and more confident about what I still have to accomplish. Gratitude opens my heart to self and other forgiveness. Forgiveness opens my soul to restoration. Sure, there will be things I didn’t accomplish – especially in my own timing – but the gratitude letters already allowed me to measure what I did accomplish.

I’ve even learned to laugh at myself and to divert my attention to more positive things. Things happen everyday that could easily stress me out. Maybe I forgot to get gas the night before, and now in the morning, I find myself late for appointments and meetings – and I must still get gas to make the commute! No point in beating myself up about it; instead I add humor by giving a SelfTalkPepTalk (TM) saying, “You need to take your own preparation advice that you are often asserting to others!” Or, I find myself low on energy and still having several tasks to complete before day’s end. Instead of dwelling over the responsibility I consider how I can make each task fun – and who I can delegate things to. Diversion is a great way to maintain your overall joy.

And let me say this; There are always things left on my to-do list at this fourth-quarter mark (Fall). While I could focus on my let-downs and upsets, I instead choose to be empowered. Gratitude letters activate my empowerment. They remind me of what I have accomplished, of all the goodness, grace and mercy I’ve been granted – despite my everyday mistakes (and I do mean everyday). If you are in my social circles, or if you read my writings you often hear me state “your circumstances don’t define you; your belief does.” I say this because even today, I still have less favorable circumstances I’m working through. To some, they may be considered failure. For me, however, failure does not exist. Failed events are lessons that allow me to evaluate what I can improve on, and/or simply let go. All things are not correctable by my own abilities; some things simply must be removed. 

Alas, once I’ve been grateful, restored, forgiven and empowered, I have to get to work! Clean up is an essential step in preparing for tomorrow’s harvest. You see, if we are honest with ourselves, most of us can identify at least one weed in our lives. Maybe it’s those gossiping co-workers that distract you from work efficiency and fill your mind with discontent for your workplace. Or perhaps its that toxic girlfriend you’ve known since your youth but have nothing in common with, so out of guilt, you keep running back to her for friendship security. At worst, it’s a few family members who diminish your self belief. I can relate to all weeds mentioned, and some.

Fall is clean- up time. We all have to pick out our weeds and plant new seeds in their place. I’m talking about stale friendships; your overcommitments to organizations and people who deplete you; I’m talking about those negative thoughts that hold you captive to your past and or your fears; I’m even talking about the outside self image! Maybe you need a self-brand uplift; if so, don’t be afraid to let go of old looks and embrace a new outward you! 

Whatever is holding you back, be sure to weed it out and plant new seeds (of intention) in its place and maintain a positive mental attitude to keep you on course.

It’s seed time! What will you plant (and weed out) for tomorrow’s success? What habits and strategies keep you on course with your goals? Share your stories with me; I’m always open to feedback. 

Wishing you your best, while in pursuit of the best me. 

Turqueya – “striving for Epitome” 

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Self, I Forgive You…

September 24, 2013

Have you ever felt like you let yourself down? Perhaps you made a workplace decision just to have steady income in the home, but the opportunity cost (to not pursue your dreams) was far greater than the pay you received. Or maybe you always show up for others in their struggles, but when it’s time to stand for you, you can’t seem to find the energy to fight for self. 

Have you ever let yourself down? I certainly have. Always remember that we are spirit beings who interact with others mostly in physical form. When we allow external things to conform us, our minds, our habits, and such, we step outside of ourselves and tend to do things that do not align with our self image.  The result is usually a negative feeling towards the self: Shame. Pity. Guilt. Humility. Low Self-Esteem.

The good news is there’s hope. You see, all of these resulting feelings – usually indicators that we’ve let ourselves down – are also the same feelings that keep us humble. They are the matter that allow us to relate to others. And, they are more common than we allow ourselves to believe. Everyone experiences these feelings!

I’ve come to learn that while feelings are not facts, they are good indicators of how our life is shaping up to our self measurements.  Take note of how you feel, and be intentional about aligning your feelings with your desires. This takes time and patience.  

1-2-3 Self Forgiveness Plan

One: The first step is to forgive yourself. Forgive your past mistakes. Forgive your thwarted intentions (those things you wanted to say or do, but settled for the less effective thought/act).  Forgive your motives driven by ego that allowed you to hurt others. Forgive your past… ALL of it! 

Now, once you’ve decided to move forward by forgiving yourself, write out exactly what you are forgiven for – and let it go!

Two: Next, choose to renew your mind about who you are. Your circumstances don’t define you. Your belief does. What are you willing to belief about yourself and your life purpose?  If you still feel down while in this thought, you still have some forgiving to do!

Three: Lastly, follow up with gratitude…towards your salvation, your capabilities, your creativity, love and support. Then, ask your spiritual guide to lead you into your purpose. I can attest that forgiveness and gratitude are the perfect formula for peace of mind! 

Today, forgive yourself. No matter what you’ve said, done, or neglected to say and/or do, know that it’s never too late to be YOU. Your highest self. All you have to do is accept you as you are, and the rest of the world will follow your leadership. 

Self, I forgive you! 

One Love, 

Turqueya 

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The Greatest Love…Do You Have It (Self love)?

February 15, 2012

A New year, a new YOU, right?

Many of us – myself included – started this year with new intentions; intentions on being more successful, more productive, a better lover, friend, leader, etc. We basically committed ourselves to outsourcing…of ourselves.

Outsourcing yourself can only be good in appropriate portions, ideally from a place of overflow.

It’s healthy to want to be and do better for others, but, first things first, you must take care of you. You can never be truly beneficial to anything or anyone else until you take care of you, first. Love and give from a place of overflow; this way you’ll always be fully energized and authentic in your giving.

Self-love is the most important love of all. You cannot offer another what you don’t first have inside of you.

Here are some suggestions for increasing your Self Love. 

1. Practice Saying, “No.”

There truly is power in saying, ” no.” When people genuinely love you for you, and not for the usage of you, they understand an occasional “no” to their requests. And even if not understood in the moment, a real friend will give you the space to offer them clarity as time allows.

2. Treat Yourself the way you expect others to treat you.

In the month of February – and at the dawn of Cupid’s love day – it can be hard to swallow the idea of filling yourself with love, especially since every medium displays intimacy (or lack thereof) all around you, heightening your desire to be loved by another. I can attest, though, that love feels best when it comes from within. Lavish yourself with the kind of love you desire to attract.  Give yourself time off with “self-love” days. Treat yourself to a funny movie or an inexpensive item you long for, or go all out; splurge if you won’t regret it later. Be kind, patient and gentle with yourself. The best way to attract a rightful love is to be loved right…by you.

3. Stay in positive thought.

Life is filled with calamity and turmoil. undesirable pain. How can you cope? Stay in positive thought. Be hopeful about what the world can be, by being a leading example of love yourself. Minimize your complaining; activate resolve instead. Smile, it’s one of the best and inexpensive gifts you can give — and you can exchange it infinite times in a day. Laugh often…especially at yourself. At this stage of my life I get so tickled over my own mistakes, and I quickly turn it into humor.

Be mindful of who and what you allow in your mind, because energy flows where it is welcomed. Be certain your energy has a lock on Negative Nellies, and Naysayers. They’ll leech on you, and still your joy, if you welcome them in.

4. Be a leader, first to Yourself.

Don’t get caught up in the progress of others around you. Stay in your lane. Stay the course of your own dreams and aspirations and allow yourself to feel as if things have already come to pass. There is no worse position than being someone’s shadow, knowing well that you have a birthright to be lit for the world to experience You. Maintain your self-pride and dignity; be hungry for life, but not desperate for support from others. Respect will carry you much farther, any day. And in the end, you’ll be left with real friends who offer genuine support.

The late Ms. Whitney Houston sung of one of my all-time favorite songs, Greatest Love of All. Its lyrics are timeless. Be free by living for you. Learn to love yourself more each day, and soon enough, you’ll have enough love to share with the world.

The late Ms. Houston was the performing artist, but Linda Creed and Michael Masser wrote the lyrics. Whitney, you are loved and appreciated for your gifts you’ve shared with this world.

See lyrics below, or better yet, visit YouTube to download it in Ms. Houston’s voice

Cheers to Self Love.

-tv-

“Greatest Love Of All”

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.
 
Everybody’s searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

[Chorus]

And if, by chance, that special place
That you’ve been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

 
 
Turqueya Vincent is a speaker, writer and consultant who studies the art of Leadership and Success. Her niche area is Self Belief and Positive Energy. Vincent believes in “striving for epitome” – that is to reach our personal best – and she is on a mission to enroll the world in adopting this belief by tapping into our natural-born gifts and using them to service the world. Do you have an area of your life you need help stepping into power to overcome? If so, contact Turqueya for a consultation at Epitome.thebestme@gmail.com.
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I Believe I Can Fly – Can U?

December 8, 2011

I Believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. 

If I can see it, than I can do it. 

If I Just Believe It, There’s nothing to it.  I Believe I can FLY! (R. Kelly)

These are the Lyrics I found myself playing, incessantly, last night.

Why?

Because I needed to digest this truth. I wanted motivation to move my own mountains.

Do YOU ever find yourself doubting your abilities? Have You recently had a moment where you wanted to move forward – but out of fear of failure – you shrunk back?

I hate to admit it, but I certainly have.

I doubted me.

That is, until I remembered Who I am and Whose I am. I am a Child of the Most High. The One who makes the Impossible  Possible. The One Who orders my steps and forces me to correct my mistakes.

Was that a little haughty? Well, I won’t apologize for truth. This attitude, this notion of invincibility is one we ALL must take up in order to reach our highest potential.

Life can be tough. And in preparation, just accept that it will be sometimes. These are moments to get grounded and centered. It’s in these moment’s You have to pull out your best self – if you don’t operate as such already. You have to know yourself. Know what you’re working with. Know Your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses.

Everything is about partnership. What your natural hands can’t do — but life commands you to do — you have a tool available to partner with. It’s a truth proven self-evident that we are equipped with all we need for living.  This tool may be access to a resource that can handle the task, or a friend that completes your strength. Your job is to trust that you are fully equipped to handle your dilemmas – either by natural ability or access to resources.

And let me also disclose that I have not mastered this art. I too, sometimes forget I have self power and access to resources, usually because I’m too prideful to admit I have a need outside of my natural ability.

Most of you can relate. We, when unwilling to speak on our needs go in hiding. We shrink back and pretend to not know there is a matter that requires our attention.

Marianne Williamson said, ” your playing small does not serve the world” and “there is nothing enlightened about shrinking back.”

I know this. You probably do, too. But still, for whatever reason, we do shrink back. We do play small.

For some odd reason, us human folks operate this way. We largely react in fear instead of living with love and truth. 

Some of us knowingly surround ourselves with people, thoughts and things that limit our Self Belief.  We like to have a reason to shrink back so that we don’t have the responsibility of proving our abilities to succeed. 

Reality Flash. We’ve lived in that darkness [shrinking back] too long. It’s about to be 2012. It’s time for us to start taking bold actions based on bold beliefs.

So Today, let us BOLDLY accept the challenge of striving to reach our personal perfection – for being all we were created to be. Let’s start a movement of SELF BELIEF. After all, the best way to persuade the world that you are an able body is to be an able body.

Are you an ABLE Body? Of course you are.

Can  YOU Do ALL Things? Of course You can – with a little inner strength.

I Believe You Can FLY. I Believe It’s Time To Try.

Simply put; I BELIEVE.

It’s plowing time. Time to dig up what hasn’t worked, shake up the soil so you can plant seeds that will grow RIGHT fruit – things in line with your purpose. Your Gift.

Do you Believe? Let me know what your Self Belief has you propelled to do differently — with your wings stretched as far as they can go (no shrinking back allowed) in 2012. Did I mention it’s plowing time?

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Turqueya Vincent is a speaker, writer and consultant who studies the art of Self Leadership and Success. Her niche area is Self Belief and Positive Energy. Vincent believes in “striving for epitome” – that is to reach our personal best – and she is on a mission to enroll the world in adopting this belief  by tapping into our natural-born gifts and using them to service the world. Do you have an area of your life you need help stepping into power to overcome? If so, contact Turqueya for a consultation at Epitome.thebestme@gmail.com

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Is Your Attitude Stealing Your Gratitude?

November 23, 2011

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love the season’s appearance – especially in North Carolina. It gears me up for change. I enjoy the brisk walks on our unlimited greenways; letting my daughter collect the color-changing leaves, the coolness in the temperature. The overall freshness. Fall sets the tone for the new year. It kicks me into visionary thoughts of my near future. It helps me to prepare for CHANGE.

Fall is the pre-season to your succeeding year’s goals and objectives. We have to plan now next year, and the traditional holiday of Thanksgiving is the perfect time of year to set things in perspective, if they were not already.  Thanksgiving. Giving Thanks. This holiday traditionally finds family, friends, and general kin folks in unity of mind – a mind of gratitude. It’s common to gather around the feast and orally express what you are thankful and grateful for. For those who’ve had a year in unison with their plans, this is easy. But what about those of us who feel like we are in a state of lack? It can be difficult to give thanks when you feel like life has been anything but gracious to you.

It’s no secret that we attract what we think about. So today, on the eve of our traditional U.S holiday of being thankful, I want to encourage us all to adopt the habits associated with this day, everyday. That habit is a gratitude mentality.

Wake up and give thanks for the nature’s resources – air, land, water, heat. Then give thanks for you – your heart beat, your health, your working ligaments.

Give thanks for your trials because you are still standing. Give thanks for support – from family, friends, and even strangers. It is grace that allows people to come into your life at such a time when you need them most.

Give thanks for all your life’s lessons. When we get to the core of each of them, it’s very common to find a blessing. At the least, it will be grace. An event happened that saved you from a more complicated event. In its greatest form, it could be the birth of your dreams.

I started my path as a motivational speaker and self-help writer as a direct result of the trials I’ve endured in my life, AND gained victory over.

Thanksgiving is habit to practice daily, as it will set the tone of your day and open space for more things to give thanks. I challenge myself and all of you to put on a new set of lenses. Habitually giving thanks today – with a genuine appreciation for all that exists – gravitates more greatness towards us. This works well with annual planning. If you see no blessings in what you have, how can you attract blessings tomorrow?

Don’t worry about the things you have not. They are coming. In due season. Work diligently for them, and trust they’ll arrive on time.

Don’t stress about old friends, materials or feelings that used to be connected to you. It’s true; you have to let go of the old to make room for the new.

Don’t be anxious about yourself, but be guided by the greater forces around you and in you.

“Blessed, fortunate, happy and prosperous are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be completely satisfied. ” This is what my favorite book promises.

CHANGE your lens.  Are you letting your attitude of lack interfere with your blessings by missing the gratitude in the lesson?

Perhaps you failed to see the  painful exemptions you were granted by enduring temporary setbacks. Is it possible all things are working for you – even that which you cannot see?

If you want a positive and prosperous tomorrow, you must adapt an attitude of gratitude.

Change your mind. It’ll change your life – and give you inner peace!

Today I’m devoted to moving with love – even to those things that have cost me something, because I trust it’s all working out for my good. This is my gratitude. What’s yours? Leave a post and share your gratitude with me.

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Are You Stuck in the Middle of Limiting Beliefs?

November 10, 2011

How do your friendship circles communicate with you? When asking the opinions of others — and most often when not — do you find yourself annoyed by the feedback others offer that generally limits the dreams and aspirations you have set for yourself? If you answered yes, you are not alone.

Society, unknowingly (which is unfortunate) are most commonly known as “naysayers.” Most people have limiting beliefs on what’s possible, simply based on their personal experiences. The fortunate truth of this matter is this; every person’s experience is only true to that person in the moment s/he experienced it. Many factors contribute to whether or not both a tangible outcome or conceptual idea are possible.

When you have people in your communication circle who are comfortable with you, often times they will offer you unsolicited advise, that is often dressed in negative connotations and the assumed “that’s not possible.” We each have to remember that facts are not the same as truth. That is to say just because an idea or situation didn’t work out for a comrade of yours does not mean that same thought or idea will not work out for you. Learn to trust yourself and go with your inner wisdom.

I’ve personally learned two practices regarding limiting beliefs from people whose opinions I trust:

1. Trust, but always verify. There is nothing wrong with looking deeper into a situation to verify the facts that have been presented to you. In fact, I’d call this wise spiritual practice.

2. Never tell anyone (not even yourself) that something is not possible. The truth of the matter is All things are possible — given the right tools, timing, and positioning. So share your experiences with others, minus your judgment of hypothesized outcomes.

The attitude to shield you in such a conversation is compassion. Know that most people who answer negatively have some pain associated with their personal failed event (because failure cannot be a person, it is only an event). Most likely this trusted friend of yours does not mean to be negative or limiting, he is simply stating the facts of his experience as universal truth – which is not in fact so.

Also, most of us are opinionated, and while entitled to our opinion, often forget to guard our tongues, thus speaking from emotion and allowing the entrance of negative beliefs from others.

My suggested resolve (along with the practices aforementioned) are to accept each others experiences as possible outcomes and feedback, still moving forward with your desires, having already weighed the consequences of all possible outcomes. Engage in conscious speech, weighing your words and how they will affect the person receiving your communication.

We all deserve to live. Unless you take risks and step outside of your normal comfort, you will never truly experience life. In the words of Henry Rand Thoreau, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

I support you in releasing your fears and standing up for your dreams. At the end of the day, only you can live your life. So take heed to advice, but be willing to walk on your own. That is all 🙂

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Are other people’s beliefs limiting your dreams? Or perhaps you are limiting others. I’d love to hear stories of you overcoming yourself or the beliefs of others. Share your comments with me.