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Renewed. Restored. Rejoicing

October 6, 2010

Renewed. Restored. Rejoicing. This is how I woke up this morning.

Some days seem like they have no beginning and no end — like all the energy from one day carries over to the next, so much that there is barely a distinguish between the two.  Aah, but today has to be a great day, because I choose it.

Life is a choice. I woke up thankful for my trials, gracious for my lessons learned, and faithful for my abundant blessings ahead.  Prior to today, I’ve concluded that I was moving in half-presence. That is, I was alive and living, but only partially. As I looked in the mirror today, I saw myself, wholly, and content. I thought, “You’re a phenomenal woman. Yes you are!” Some might consider this conceit, but for me, it was solely affirmation.

Is life perfect… No. Do I expect challenges ahead…absolutely. But the joy of being renewed in the essence of myself, my worth, and all that I am created to be made me smile. Restoration came from the satisfaction of accepting me, again. Many of us lose ourselves in our day-to-day operations of expectations for living. But, if we’re not careful, we can be separated from ourselves for a long time.

Life is about balance, not perfection. Some things that seem to weigh us down actually can be the anchor holding us together, like family obligations, or parenting responsibilities, or listening to friends with problems, often thinking to ourselves “Do these chores ever end? I have my own needs to tend to.”

It’s true, many relationships we keep as individuals satisfy our own personal needs, with little consideration to the reciprocal party. But I have concluded that balance  of giving and receiving is far more important than self-gratification. Especially in intimate relationships, when u sacrifice yourself for the one you love, the energy has no choice but to come back to you.

Try it out. After all, people ONLY exist because (if) others allow them to. If you don’t believe me, ponder a day when you and your spouse weren’t communicating, or you had an unresolved argument with a lifetime friend. These events actually pause life — it’s like you don’t have space to exist because you are unable to be self-expressed.

The remedy for me has been sacrifice. When I learn to willfully sacrifice myself to others’ needs and necessary relationships, I always have the opportunity to exist or be present. To be fully present, though, I wake up with the determination to be who I am, and to love me, regardless. Life is about balance, but balance can only come after self-awareness and acceptance. For in this space you learn your boundaries for what you will not accept in your life, in order to maintain your self-worth.

Renewed. Restored. Rejoicing.

“Always striving for epitome” – T.Vincent

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