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Children Learn What they Live, WE ALL DO!

October 13, 2011

As a child, I loved to read inspiring messages, you know, the ones that made you feel all warm and aglow inside. The ones that made you want to make a difference in this world by taking heed to them (oh, this may just be me, as I’m often told how unique I am, and I receive it!)

A childhood favorite – one I consider in the rearing of my own children – is “Children Learn What They Live, written by Dr. Dorothy Nolte. The poem is phenomenal, filled with truth, and has been in me all these years – even as an adult. And today, as I read it in my own home, I conclude:  ALL PEOPLE LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE. And if not properly channeled, what we live becomes apart of us.

Our environment can have healthy influence as well as toxic influence. Our nurture can strengthen us, or break us down, spiritually.

It’s no secret that I’m an advocate of Domestic Violence Awareness, and as I reflect on the freedom from it, I’m so grateful and also again, enlightened. I can today admit that living in seasons of abuse, consequently taught me to be abusive. No. Not by its popular definition. I was not BEATING FOLKS UP – well not physically, anyway. But I have been told, all too often, that my words can be rather harsh.

This was something I got tired enough of hearing, so much that I decided to UNLEARN. To reprogram myself, and now, I enjoy sharing my growth [out of it] with people like you, listeners. I now offer loving feedback, with tact, and when needed, assertiveness. I Speak up for myself – I’ve simply learned to better gauge my timing 🙂

I don’t like feeling inadequate so I work hard to transform any known deficiencies. This is easy when you are AWARE that you have a negative addiction. But what about all those who are UNAWARE? The expansion of Domestic Violence is widely attributed to the fact that all-too-many people simply don’t know what it is, and don’t know that they don’t know (did u get that?).

Keeping in agreement with Dr.  Nolte’s truth, We learn what we live with. If all a person lives with is violence, they are more likely a violent being – known or unknown.

Wikipedia broadly defines  Domestic Violence as ” as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation.” Take special note at the FRIENDS, and pay attention to their habits.

Today I simply want to educate a little more on the topic. A little sound advice however, is simply to PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FEELINGS. They rarely lie to you. If a person makes you feel bad – on any level – immediately allow some space. You don’t have to know something is wrong to feel that it is wrong. Trust your gut feelings. Don’t hold on to familiarity. Often times, what we’re familiar with rarely is what’s best for us. Leave room to be enlightened. To broaden your own horizon. This way, variety can help you make better decisions – in life and Love.

Who are YOU with? How do they Make you FEEL? Your feelings, if unaddressed, definitely are becoming a part of YOU. Energy can’t be destroyed; It is only ALWAYS transferred. So today I ask, “WHO YOU WITH?” I hope the answer is LOVE – those giving it and receiving yours.

Here’s a version of my favorite childhood poem. Enjoy it. And keep its concept in your heart. – Turqueya

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Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. (Thank You Ms. Nolte, for Your CONTRIBUTION)


If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with love, they learn  to find peace and happiness in this world.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

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