Archive for the ‘Friendships’ Category

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Are You Stuck in the Middle of Limiting Beliefs?

November 10, 2011

How do your friendship circles communicate with you? When asking the opinions of others — and most often when not — do you find yourself annoyed by the feedback others offer that generally limits the dreams and aspirations you have set for yourself? If you answered yes, you are not alone.

Society, unknowingly (which is unfortunate) are most commonly known as “naysayers.” Most people have limiting beliefs on what’s possible, simply based on their personal experiences. The fortunate truth of this matter is this; every person’s experience is only true to that person in the moment s/he experienced it. Many factors contribute to whether or not both a tangible outcome or conceptual idea are possible.

When you have people in your communication circle who are comfortable with you, often times they will offer you unsolicited advise, that is often dressed in negative connotations and the assumed “that’s not possible.” We each have to remember that facts are not the same as truth. That is to say just because an idea or situation didn’t work out for a comrade of yours does not mean that same thought or idea will not work out for you. Learn to trust yourself and go with your inner wisdom.

I’ve personally learned two practices regarding limiting beliefs from people whose opinions I trust:

1. Trust, but always verify. There is nothing wrong with looking deeper into a situation to verify the facts that have been presented to you. In fact, I’d call this wise spiritual practice.

2. Never tell anyone (not even yourself) that something is not possible. The truth of the matter is All things are possible — given the right tools, timing, and positioning. So share your experiences with others, minus your judgment of hypothesized outcomes.

The attitude to shield you in such a conversation is compassion. Know that most people who answer negatively have some pain associated with their personal failed event (because failure cannot be a person, it is only an event). Most likely this trusted friend of yours does not mean to be negative or limiting, he is simply stating the facts of his experience as universal truth – which is not in fact so.

Also, most of us are opinionated, and while entitled to our opinion, often forget to guard our tongues, thus speaking from emotion and allowing the entrance of negative beliefs from others.

My suggested resolve (along with the practices aforementioned) are to accept each others experiences as possible outcomes and feedback, still moving forward with your desires, having already weighed the consequences of all possible outcomes. Engage in conscious speech, weighing your words and how they will affect the person receiving your communication.

We all deserve to live. Unless you take risks and step outside of your normal comfort, you will never truly experience life. In the words of Henry Rand Thoreau, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

I support you in releasing your fears and standing up for your dreams. At the end of the day, only you can live your life. So take heed to advice, but be willing to walk on your own. That is all 🙂

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Are other people’s beliefs limiting your dreams? Or perhaps you are limiting others. I’d love to hear stories of you overcoming yourself or the beliefs of others. Share your comments with me.

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Your Company is Your Business: Friendship Cuts

October 20, 2011

Have YOU ever felt like letting someone go and retracted the thought and said, ” maybe I’m being harsh.” Then another instance, and another happened, and so on. But, you were so used to excusing their past behaviors that you felt kind of silly for addressing this last instance–that when measured to past offenses you forgave, was really quite silly?

Let me tell you, I’ve been there, and I still revisit there from time to time, but this day, TODAY, I’m taking my Head Coach position back.

This is what I’ve concluded about Friendship: Everybody Can’t and Won’t make your team. You’re the Coach. Don’t be afraid to have folks “cut.” If they like, they can “try out again” after they acquire some Skills in your Language.

To some of you, this may sound harsh. And, it is your right to emote these feelings from my blog. However, truthfully speaking, when we All step out of fear, we know this is true.

If everybody were allowed to be in our Friendship Company, then there would really be no level of higher standards in life. We’d all be completely happen with each other, as we are — but the world is not there yet, and I’m personally OK with this.

I’ve realized that life is about evolution. Some friends evolve with you, while it’s necessary for others to be left behind. And yet, still others will be steps ahead of you, keeping you focused on your course, giving you tracks to follow. The best friends yet, those you may call “true friends” walk right beside you. They are honest, loving, encouraging, and tough. They tell you the truth, and cry with you about the truth, if and when needed. True Friends give you freedom to be, and as the saying goes, “The truth shall set you free.” Friends equal freedom.

I’m in a season where the higher I reach – which is the same as the deeper I grow, within — the more I notice mix-matched friendships, and as the Coach of Team Turqueya, I have to cut some folks. Sure, this can be painful. But I rather live in temporary pain with truth, then permanent damage and struggle.

Whenever you feel fearful to address interactions that you perceive as wrong or a misfit for who you truly are, know that its OK to still act with fear. Afterall, all things created in fear are unreal. Only when you are willing to tell the truth to yourself and others will you truly be set free.

Today’s the perfect day to free yourself from mix-matched teams– from fakes, haters, leaches, Pretenders, Enviers –you get the picture. The only team you belong on is Team YOU. And, you need the right teammates to win in love and life. And you know what, a second string team isn’t so bad, either. They give your lead players a break, when needed. 🙂

Cheers to Friendship, built on SOLID [true] ground.

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Always Striving For Epitome – Turqueya

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Your Company Is Your Business

October 20, 2011

Have YOU ever felt like letting someone go, then retracted the thought and said, “maybe I’m being harsh.” Then another instance, and another happened, and so on. But, you were so used to excusing their past behaviors that you felt kind of silly for addressing this last instance–that when measured to past offenses you forgave, was really quite silly?

Let me tell you, I’ve been there, and I still revisit there from time to time, but this day, TODAY, I’m taking my Head Coach position back.

This is what I’ve concluded about Friendship: Everybody Can’t and Won’t make your team. You’re the Coach. Don’t be afraid to have folks “cut.” If they like, they can “try out again” after they acquire some Skills in your Language.

To some of you, this may sound harsh. And, it is your right to emote these feelings from my blog. However, truthfully speaking, when we All step out of fear, we know this is true.

If everybody were allowed to be in our Friendship Company, then there would really be no level of higher standards in life. We’d all be completely happen with each other, as we are — but the world is not there yet, and I’m personally OK with this.

I’ve realized that life is about evolution. Some friends evolve with you, while it’s necessary for others to be left behind. And yet, still others will be steps ahead of you, keeping you focused on your course, giving you tracks to follow. The best friends yet, those you may call “true friends” walk right beside you. They are honest, loving, encouraging, and tough. They tell you the truth, and cry with you about the truth, if and when needed. True Friends give you freedom to be, and as the saying goes, “The truth shall set you free.” Friends equal freedom.

I’m in a season where the higher I reach – which is the same as the deeper I grow, within — the more I notice mix-matched friendships, and as the Coach of Team Turqueya, I have to cut some folks. Sure, this can be painful. But I rather live in temporary pain with truth, then permanent damage and struggle.

Whenever you feel fearful to address interactions that you perceive as wrong or a misfit for who you truly are, know that its OK to still act with fear. Afterall, all things created in fear are unreal. Only when you are willing to tell the truth to yourself and others will you truly be set free.

Today’s the perfect day to free yourself from Others’ teams– from fakeers, haters, leaches, Pretenders — the only team you belong on is Team YOU. And, you need the right teammates to win. And you know what, a second string team isn’t so bad, either. They give your lead players a break, when needed. :-)

Cheers to Friendship, built on SOLID [true] ground.

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Always Striving For Epitome – Turqueya

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Hello SELF, Nice to meet YOU

September 16, 2011

Confident. EMPOWERED. Self-Assured. So I thought. These are all words I would have used to describe my SELF, especially in my

early Twenties. But now, now that I am in my Thirties, I’m amazed and how many new Me’s I have met in my lifetime.

Life is about evolving. When u meet Evolving, he usually runs with his helpmate, Learning, who’s often accompanied with Mistakes. These three guys can be quite an adventure, or consequently an enduring punishment. My Thirties have introduced me to a constant cycle of evolution; there was nothing wrong with the old Mes, perse, but the new Mes show up — quite often – to prepare me for the FULL life ahead of me.

I believe each of us are who we need to be for the seasons we are in. And, as we open ourselves to growth, to love, we grow deeper within, where we get stages closer to our authentic selves, who we were born to be.

In my late Twenties I felt heavy. Physically and mentally heavy. Life was not wrong, but it simply was not all right. I had to work extra hard for recognition, which to me, validated my success. I tried not to offend others, often times, shrinking in self so that others could exist with me or ahead of me. I was a true People Pleaser – and a tired one! Life is a total drain when you live for others’ pleasure.  I was no longer sure of who I was. Who I wanted to be. How I would get there. I was starving to exist, to be self-expressed. And today I know this is quite common on the path to being AWAKENED. Being awakened is like dying to yourself, shedding your old ways, to adopt new ones that take you higher in your thinking and living.

As I embrace my Thirties, my lenses (perspective) are constantly changing. I’ve decided to put me first. I’m learning to fall in love with me, all over again, in a youthful manner. I’m not interested in quantitative friendships, but rather qualitative ones – with substance, unconditional love, and above all, total acceptance. I don’t want to look too deeply into anything outside of myself. Why you ask? Because I have too much work to do on me than I have time for; other people and things distract me from this progress. I stop to smell the roses. I like to be surprised like young children do. Life has become  simpler and more profound all at the same time. My old self – her habits, speech, and Mindset-have been changing. The hungrier I grow for truth, the more fearless I become in finding myself, and the more ruthless I become with my time and  inner circle; I have verified that who you keep in your intimate circle is a direct reflection of your life’s wealth, depth, meaning and passions.

My 2011 SELF showed up, open and available. Her energy is love, and she’s interested in all those who give love, in a healthy manner. She nurtures me. She forgives my past mistakes. She laughs at yesterday’s folly. She’s enthused about tomorrow’s promises. She lives through each today. And the best part, my SELF is totally happy being with me. We’re looking forward to doing miraculous things – starting with our SELF-transformation.

How many of you have taken the time to meet YOUR SELF? Slowed down enough to nourish YOUR needs. If you haven’t, I encourage you to do so Today. Right now. For the world won’t ever be complete until YOU show up!

“Hello Self,” I say with a smile.

She says, “Nice to meet YOU.”

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