Archive for the ‘SELF LOVE’ Category


The Greatest Love…Do You Have It (Self love)?

February 15, 2012

A New year, a new YOU, right?

Many of us – myself included – started this year with new intentions; intentions on being more successful, more productive, a better lover, friend, leader, etc. We basically committed ourselves to outsourcing…of ourselves.

Outsourcing yourself can only be good in appropriate portions, ideally from a place of overflow.

It’s healthy to want to be and do better for others, but, first things first, you must take care of you. You can never be truly beneficial to anything or anyone else until you take care of you, first. Love and give from a place of overflow; this way you’ll always be fully energized and authentic in your giving.

Self-love is the most important love of all. You cannot offer another what you don’t first have inside of you.

Here are some suggestions for increasing your Self Love. 

1. Practice Saying, “No.”

There truly is power in saying, ” no.” When people genuinely love you for you, and not for the usage of you, they understand an occasional “no” to their requests. And even if not understood in the moment, a real friend will give you the space to offer them clarity as time allows.

2. Treat Yourself the way you expect others to treat you.

In the month of February – and at the dawn of Cupid’s love day – it can be hard to swallow the idea of filling yourself with love, especially since every medium displays intimacy (or lack thereof) all around you, heightening your desire to be loved by another. I can attest, though, that love feels best when it comes from within. Lavish yourself with the kind of love you desire to attract.  Give yourself time off with “self-love” days. Treat yourself to a funny movie or an inexpensive item you long for, or go all out; splurge if you won’t regret it later. Be kind, patient and gentle with yourself. The best way to attract a rightful love is to be loved right…by you.

3. Stay in positive thought.

Life is filled with calamity and turmoil. undesirable pain. How can you cope? Stay in positive thought. Be hopeful about what the world can be, by being a leading example of love yourself. Minimize your complaining; activate resolve instead. Smile, it’s one of the best and inexpensive gifts you can give — and you can exchange it infinite times in a day. Laugh often…especially at yourself. At this stage of my life I get so tickled over my own mistakes, and I quickly turn it into humor.

Be mindful of who and what you allow in your mind, because energy flows where it is welcomed. Be certain your energy has a lock on Negative Nellies, and Naysayers. They’ll leech on you, and still your joy, if you welcome them in.

4. Be a leader, first to Yourself.

Don’t get caught up in the progress of others around you. Stay in your lane. Stay the course of your own dreams and aspirations and allow yourself to feel as if things have already come to pass. There is no worse position than being someone’s shadow, knowing well that you have a birthright to be lit for the world to experience You. Maintain your self-pride and dignity; be hungry for life, but not desperate for support from others. Respect will carry you much farther, any day. And in the end, you’ll be left with real friends who offer genuine support.

The late Ms. Whitney Houston sung of one of my all-time favorite songs, Greatest Love of All. Its lyrics are timeless. Be free by living for you. Learn to love yourself more each day, and soon enough, you’ll have enough love to share with the world.

The late Ms. Houston was the performing artist, but Linda Creed and Michael Masser wrote the lyrics. Whitney, you are loved and appreciated for your gifts you’ve shared with this world.

See lyrics below, or better yet, visit YouTube to download it in Ms. Houston’s voice

Cheers to Self Love.


“Greatest Love Of All”

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.
Everybody’s searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be


And if, by chance, that special place
That you’ve been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Turqueya Vincent is a speaker, writer and consultant who studies the art of Leadership and Success. Her niche area is Self Belief and Positive Energy. Vincent believes in “striving for epitome” – that is to reach our personal best – and she is on a mission to enroll the world in adopting this belief by tapping into our natural-born gifts and using them to service the world. Do you have an area of your life you need help stepping into power to overcome? If so, contact Turqueya for a consultation at

Hello SELF, Nice to meet YOU

September 16, 2011

Confident. EMPOWERED. Self-Assured. So I thought. These are all words I would have used to describe my SELF, especially in my

early Twenties. But now, now that I am in my Thirties, I’m amazed and how many new Me’s I have met in my lifetime.

Life is about evolving. When u meet Evolving, he usually runs with his helpmate, Learning, who’s often accompanied with Mistakes. These three guys can be quite an adventure, or consequently an enduring punishment. My Thirties have introduced me to a constant cycle of evolution; there was nothing wrong with the old Mes, perse, but the new Mes show up — quite often – to prepare me for the FULL life ahead of me.

I believe each of us are who we need to be for the seasons we are in. And, as we open ourselves to growth, to love, we grow deeper within, where we get stages closer to our authentic selves, who we were born to be.

In my late Twenties I felt heavy. Physically and mentally heavy. Life was not wrong, but it simply was not all right. I had to work extra hard for recognition, which to me, validated my success. I tried not to offend others, often times, shrinking in self so that others could exist with me or ahead of me. I was a true People Pleaser – and a tired one! Life is a total drain when you live for others’ pleasure.  I was no longer sure of who I was. Who I wanted to be. How I would get there. I was starving to exist, to be self-expressed. And today I know this is quite common on the path to being AWAKENED. Being awakened is like dying to yourself, shedding your old ways, to adopt new ones that take you higher in your thinking and living.

As I embrace my Thirties, my lenses (perspective) are constantly changing. I’ve decided to put me first. I’m learning to fall in love with me, all over again, in a youthful manner. I’m not interested in quantitative friendships, but rather qualitative ones – with substance, unconditional love, and above all, total acceptance. I don’t want to look too deeply into anything outside of myself. Why you ask? Because I have too much work to do on me than I have time for; other people and things distract me from this progress. I stop to smell the roses. I like to be surprised like young children do. Life has become  simpler and more profound all at the same time. My old self – her habits, speech, and Mindset-have been changing. The hungrier I grow for truth, the more fearless I become in finding myself, and the more ruthless I become with my time and  inner circle; I have verified that who you keep in your intimate circle is a direct reflection of your life’s wealth, depth, meaning and passions.

My 2011 SELF showed up, open and available. Her energy is love, and she’s interested in all those who give love, in a healthy manner. She nurtures me. She forgives my past mistakes. She laughs at yesterday’s folly. She’s enthused about tomorrow’s promises. She lives through each today. And the best part, my SELF is totally happy being with me. We’re looking forward to doing miraculous things – starting with our SELF-transformation.

How many of you have taken the time to meet YOUR SELF? Slowed down enough to nourish YOUR needs. If you haven’t, I encourage you to do so Today. Right now. For the world won’t ever be complete until YOU show up!

“Hello Self,” I say with a smile.

She says, “Nice to meet YOU.”



Certitude. What I KNOW for Sure

October 8, 2010

I woke up this morning with an inkling of doubt, almost to the point of confusion. I was presumptuous, boldly certain I knew a destined outcome…and I was wrong. This awareness of slight error tried to permeate my mind; that’s how uncertainty works. If u give a seat to doubt, it’ll want to be the navigator of you life.

If you ever wake up with a small sense of uncertainty, take peace in knowing whose at your Right Hand; whose on your team.  We all have purpose and undeniable truths or assurance, and no event, circumstance, and for certain no person, should ever be able to take this knowledge from us.

I had to step back into my right mind, remember all the events of my yesterday that I’ve already overcome, and then I had to get in sync with the deepest part of me and recover my certitude about myself, the essence of me, and my purpose.

I have learned that though perception can be some folks’ reality, it doesn’t have to be mine. When you know who you are, your worth, be determined to show yourself to others; not to let others’ premature opinions or single encounters make a false reputation for you.

I’ am no longer concerned with pleasing a particular group of people, as I rest in content with pleasing myself, and being all that I was created to be, everyday. Certitude. When you trust what you know about yourself, others have no choice but to fall in line. No [wo]man has the power to misuse you or your abilities without you first granting him your permission. Decide who you are and what you are worth today, before someone  else decides for you.

“striving for epitome” – Turqueya