Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

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Let Go of Limiting Beliefs

February 28, 2014

Let Go of Limiting Beliefs

How do your friendship circles communicate with you? When asking the opinions of others — and most often when not — do you find yourself annoyed by the feedback others offer that generally limits the dreams and aspirations you have set for yourself? If you answered yes, you are not alone.

Society, unknowingly (which is unfortunate) are most commonly known as “naysayers.” Most people have limiting beliefs on what’s possible, simply based on their personal experiences. The fortunate truth of this matter is this; every person’s experience is only true to that person in the moment s/he experienced it. Many factors contribute to whether or not a tangible outcome or conceptual idea is possible.

When you have people in your communication circle who are comfortable with you, often times they will offer you unsolicited advice that is often dressed in negative connotations and the assumed “that’s not possible.” We each have to remember that facts are not the same as truth. That is to say just because an idea or situation didn’t work out for a comrade of yours does not mean that same thought or idea will not work out for you. Learn to trust yourself and go with your inner wisdom.

I’ve personally learned two practices regarding limiting beliefs from people whose opinions I trust:

1. Trust, but always verify. There is nothing wrong with looking deeper into a situation to verify the facts that have been presented to you. In fact, I’d call this wise spiritual practice.

2. Never tell anyone (not even yourself) that something is not possible. The truth of the matter is all things are possible — given the right tools, timing, and positioning. So share your experiences with others, minus your judgment of hypothesized outcomes.

The attitude to shield you in such a conversation is compassion. Know that most people who answer negatively have some pain associated with their personal failed event (because failure cannot be a person, it is only an event). Most likely this trusted friend of yours does not mean to be negative or limiting, he is simply stating the facts of his experience as universal truth – which is not in fact so.

Also, most of us are opinionated, and while entitled to our opinion, often forget to guard our tongues, thus speaking from emotion and allowing the entrance of negative beliefs from others.

My suggested resolve (along with the practices aforementioned) are to accept each other’s experiences as possible outcomes and feedback, still moving forward with your desires, having already weighed the consequences of all possible outcomes. Engage in conscious speech, weighing your words and how they will affect the person receiving your communication.

We all deserve to live. Unless you take risks and step outside of your normal comfort, you will never truly experience life. In the words of Henry Rand Thoreau, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

I support you in releasing your fears and standing up for your dreams. At the end of the day, only you can live your life. So take heed to advice, but be willing to walk on your own. That is all 

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What beliefs are holding you captive? Will you let them go in order to free your possibilities? What do you now believe is possible for your life? Share your stories with me. I’d love to learn from you, too. 

 

In Love, 

 

Turqueya V – #Strive4Epitome

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It’s Seed Time! How do You Prepare for Tomorrow?

October 8, 2013

Autumn is here and I’m feeling all sorts of positive energy rushes: gratitude, forgiveness, humor, confidence, and more!

Fall is my favorite time of year. I think because for me, it’s a time of reflection and planning. Cleaning and restoring. And I don’t just mean tangible things; I mean emotions, people, organizations, clothes, et al. You see, about three years ago I started a personal tradition of “gratitude letters” where I write to persons, organizations, God and self what I’m grateful for, in order that I may attract more positives into my life. 

Once I’ve given thanks for past blessings, I feel better and more confident about what I still have to accomplish. Gratitude opens my heart to self and other forgiveness. Forgiveness opens my soul to restoration. Sure, there will be things I didn’t accomplish – especially in my own timing – but the gratitude letters already allowed me to measure what I did accomplish.

I’ve even learned to laugh at myself and to divert my attention to more positive things. Things happen everyday that could easily stress me out. Maybe I forgot to get gas the night before, and now in the morning, I find myself late for appointments and meetings – and I must still get gas to make the commute! No point in beating myself up about it; instead I add humor by giving a SelfTalkPepTalk (TM) saying, “You need to take your own preparation advice that you are often asserting to others!” Or, I find myself low on energy and still having several tasks to complete before day’s end. Instead of dwelling over the responsibility I consider how I can make each task fun – and who I can delegate things to. Diversion is a great way to maintain your overall joy.

And let me say this; There are always things left on my to-do list at this fourth-quarter mark (Fall). While I could focus on my let-downs and upsets, I instead choose to be empowered. Gratitude letters activate my empowerment. They remind me of what I have accomplished, of all the goodness, grace and mercy I’ve been granted – despite my everyday mistakes (and I do mean everyday). If you are in my social circles, or if you read my writings you often hear me state “your circumstances don’t define you; your belief does.” I say this because even today, I still have less favorable circumstances I’m working through. To some, they may be considered failure. For me, however, failure does not exist. Failed events are lessons that allow me to evaluate what I can improve on, and/or simply let go. All things are not correctable by my own abilities; some things simply must be removed. 

Alas, once I’ve been grateful, restored, forgiven and empowered, I have to get to work! Clean up is an essential step in preparing for tomorrow’s harvest. You see, if we are honest with ourselves, most of us can identify at least one weed in our lives. Maybe it’s those gossiping co-workers that distract you from work efficiency and fill your mind with discontent for your workplace. Or perhaps its that toxic girlfriend you’ve known since your youth but have nothing in common with, so out of guilt, you keep running back to her for friendship security. At worst, it’s a few family members who diminish your self belief. I can relate to all weeds mentioned, and some.

Fall is clean- up time. We all have to pick out our weeds and plant new seeds in their place. I’m talking about stale friendships; your overcommitments to organizations and people who deplete you; I’m talking about those negative thoughts that hold you captive to your past and or your fears; I’m even talking about the outside self image! Maybe you need a self-brand uplift; if so, don’t be afraid to let go of old looks and embrace a new outward you! 

Whatever is holding you back, be sure to weed it out and plant new seeds (of intention) in its place and maintain a positive mental attitude to keep you on course.

It’s seed time! What will you plant (and weed out) for tomorrow’s success? What habits and strategies keep you on course with your goals? Share your stories with me; I’m always open to feedback. 

Wishing you your best, while in pursuit of the best me. 

Turqueya – “striving for Epitome” 

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Self, I Forgive You…

September 24, 2013

Have you ever felt like you let yourself down? Perhaps you made a workplace decision just to have steady income in the home, but the opportunity cost (to not pursue your dreams) was far greater than the pay you received. Or maybe you always show up for others in their struggles, but when it’s time to stand for you, you can’t seem to find the energy to fight for self. 

Have you ever let yourself down? I certainly have. Always remember that we are spirit beings who interact with others mostly in physical form. When we allow external things to conform us, our minds, our habits, and such, we step outside of ourselves and tend to do things that do not align with our self image.  The result is usually a negative feeling towards the self: Shame. Pity. Guilt. Humility. Low Self-Esteem.

The good news is there’s hope. You see, all of these resulting feelings – usually indicators that we’ve let ourselves down – are also the same feelings that keep us humble. They are the matter that allow us to relate to others. And, they are more common than we allow ourselves to believe. Everyone experiences these feelings!

I’ve come to learn that while feelings are not facts, they are good indicators of how our life is shaping up to our self measurements.  Take note of how you feel, and be intentional about aligning your feelings with your desires. This takes time and patience.  

1-2-3 Self Forgiveness Plan

One: The first step is to forgive yourself. Forgive your past mistakes. Forgive your thwarted intentions (those things you wanted to say or do, but settled for the less effective thought/act).  Forgive your motives driven by ego that allowed you to hurt others. Forgive your past… ALL of it! 

Now, once you’ve decided to move forward by forgiving yourself, write out exactly what you are forgiven for – and let it go!

Two: Next, choose to renew your mind about who you are. Your circumstances don’t define you. Your belief does. What are you willing to belief about yourself and your life purpose?  If you still feel down while in this thought, you still have some forgiving to do!

Three: Lastly, follow up with gratitude…towards your salvation, your capabilities, your creativity, love and support. Then, ask your spiritual guide to lead you into your purpose. I can attest that forgiveness and gratitude are the perfect formula for peace of mind! 

Today, forgive yourself. No matter what you’ve said, done, or neglected to say and/or do, know that it’s never too late to be YOU. Your highest self. All you have to do is accept you as you are, and the rest of the world will follow your leadership. 

Self, I forgive you! 

One Love, 

Turqueya 

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